May 28, 2008 The ’Real’ you...

I just read, ok skimmed, over an article about when the 'real' you emerges. It seems that there are 6 different situations that are most likely to cause people to act most like themselves. Why is this important? Well, most of the time people try to be on their best behavior and it's hard to know if they really are that sweet, charming, considerate, whatever or if it's just an act. So, here's some situations where you'll get a good idea as to what that person is really all about:

Traveling - We're outside our comfort zone when we're away from home. How that affects us shows how well we can handle stress. Do we keep our sense of humor or lose control? I think I'm pretty good about traveling, but I can't step outside myself and look at me through someone else's eyes.

Being sick - Some people are total bears to be around when they're sick. I know I personally can be really whiny and demanding. And if I'm really sick and need to go to the hospital then just forget about me having any manners at all - especially when they come at me with a needle!

Arguing - There's so many ways to argue. Some people yell and accuse and insult. Some people shut up and hide. Some are civilized and calm and just want to discuss the issue at hand. I tend to float between all possibilities. I try to stay calm and focused, but if attacked I will at first retreat and get quite, but pushed I tend to go into the "emotional hijack" stage and I can be vicious and cruel. It's not right and I can usually tell when I'm getting to that point and will try to remove myself from the situation before I unload. But if I'm done and tired and just don't care anymore then I'll let my opponent have it.

Competing - "How a person competes can be indicative of maturity level and general good nature." That's what the article said about competition. Well, I guess I'm a bit immature then, because I'm terribly competitive. I don't taunt or harass losers, but I HATE to be one. I'd rather sit the game out then face defeat. Does that make me a terrible person? Wanna arm wrestle over it?

Driving - Road rage - 'nuff said.

In a position of power - well....I could make all sorts of off color remarks about this one, but I'll refrain. Basically the article says that how someone handles situations where they have some power (waitress bring wrong entree, customer service rep on the phone) shows how much respect they have for their fellow humans. I've never really thought about this, but it makes sense to me now. I know someone who is terribly rude to the credit card customer service rep when he calls in and I find it appalling - not only because I used to be said CSR, but because those people are just doing their job and there's no reason to be mean to them. Anyway, I try my best to treat people better than I expect them to treat me, not just how I'd like to be treated. Maybe that way I'll put some good karma out there and hopefully get some back in return.


Now that I've read the article it's made me realize that I haven't paid enough attention to these things in the past and that maybe I should start doing so. But it also reaffirms a lot for me in regards to who I want to spend my time with and who I don't.