January 22, 2008 My dog thinks she’s a cat...

Yesterday I was outside with the dogs in the back yard. I saw a bird hopping around on the ground, eating seeds or something. I figured he'd fly away as soon as he saw the dogs so I called Skye over. He and Woogie both came bounding over like the goofy baffoons they are. I pointed at the bird and gasped very dramatically and said "What's that?!?!?!" Skye immediately went into hunter mode and lunged at the bird. The bird started to fly away and Skye, in all his obese glory, jumped up and grabbed the bird out of the air. CHOMP!

I screamed in horror and yelled "NO! Drop it!'" And he did, because he's the good dog. However, Woogie isn't a good dog. No no no, she's a bad dog. The poor little partially chewed bird was on the ground wondering what the hell just happened when Woogie dove in and snatched the bird up in her mouth. Again, horror and screaming. I told her to drop it and she just looked at me like "Wha? Drop the tasty treat? Are you crazy?" So I grabbed her by the collar and yelled "Drop it, Drop it, Drop IT!!" And I started smacking her upside the head. She was confused because I've never smack her with such violent enthusiasm. She did release the bird and looked up at me as if to say "Like that, Mom? Drop it like that?" I let go of her collar and said "Good dog." She immediately scooped the bird up again. HORROR!! Yucky bird mouth dog. EEEWWWW!!!! So I once again grabbed her collar and started smacking and yelling at her. Brianna opened her bedroom window and calmly said "She just dropped it. What is it?" I told her that Woogie had a dead bird and she cried "OOOOOHHHH, Poor bird." I was in freak-out mode so my voice was about 5 octaves higher than normal and I screeched "Get out here and help me!" Brianna came out and guarded the corpse while I escorted Woogie back to the house. Skye was being very good and went into the house unassisted. Woogie, however, ended up walking on her hind legs most of the way because I had her front end lifted off the ground since I was hauling her in by her collar. She didn't protest.

Once the dogs were in the house I went outside, removed the body and threw it in the garbage can. I almost cried because if I wouldn't have pointed the bird out to Skye then there wouldn't have been a murder.