Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Chain of events...

I took a fairly heavy blow somewhat recently, that sort of knocked me off my axis. I'm left feeling like a washing machine with an unbalanced load. Everything still works right, the job gets done, but it's obvious that something's wrong. This unpleasant incident set off a whole chain of events. I'm finding myself embarking on a path that, little over a month ago, I would have never seen myself on. I'm not opposed to change, rather I embrace it. I can handle just about anything that comes my way. However, I would like to think that I'm in charge of what happens in my life, rather than just an observer. Unfortunately, sometimes things happen, through no fault of your own, and you must accept it. I once heard the phrase "change doesn't occur in a vacuum." I wasn't sure I agreed, or even understood that. Now I can't deny that logic. Basically, if someone changes, those involved with that person must change too. If I decided to stop logging onto this website then those I communicate with would be forced to either find alternate ways of getting in contact with me, or lose that contact. Had the event not happened I would not have gotten a speeding ticket a few weeks ago, I would not have lost time at work, I would not have been forced to reevaluate my financial situation, I would not have decided to take on a part time job, and I would not have had that fucking car accident last Friday - which happened as I was going to a job interview. Now my car is sitting in my driveway, I'm afraid to drive it, and the bitch that hit me is lying to the insurance investigator about the circumstances involving the accident. I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed with the insurance company and their appearant lack of empathy. I can't say that I'd want everything to go back to how it was before that one event occurred, because I believe that it happened for a reason and that there's something better out there. But nonetheless I do wonder how things would be right now if it never happened.